In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, a known yet rarely discussed tendency dwells in many individuals: the urge to be people pleasers. People pleasers often go above and beyond to meet the expectations of others despite the possible negative consequences or their well-being. While being considerate and accommodating is desirable, it’s time to assess whether this behaviour might be causing more harm than good in the long run.
Understanding the People Pleaser
It’s crucial to comprehend the mindset of a people pleaser to fully grasp this characteristic. People pleasers frequently rely excessively on external approval, continually striving for others’ validation to validate themselves.
Regrettably, this often results in them shaping their identities and adjusting their behaviours to align with others’ expectations, motivated by the fear that conflict could result in disharmony or rejection.
Despite appearing detrimental, their actions are typically underpinned by good intentions. They genuinely aim to assist, nurture, and accommodate those around them. However, this commendable aim often comes at a personal expense, neglecting their needs and desires.
Signs of a People Pleaser
People pleaser person will most or always be judged by his own opinion and feel self-deprecating. They think that their opinion is not enough until they get the approval of others. This approval also comes either from their friends or from their peers. Therefore, doing this work gives them great pleasure.
Aspires To Be Everyone’s Favorite
The biggest hallmark of people-pleasers is that they want everyone’s approval and approval. People who are prone to be pleased often worry about rejection. These fears often lead to actions designed to keep people happy so they don’t reject you.
Frequent, unnecessary apologies can be a marker of a people pleaser. Imagine apologizing for a situation you had no involvement in; it’s as if the word ‘sorry’ is permanently poised on your lips. If you find yourself accepting blame without cause, stuck in a perpetual cycle of seeking approval and acceptance, you might be a people pleaser.
Always Saying Yes To Everyone
If someone asks you for some work, then why should you have to kill your conscience to complete it. Of course, you don’t want to say no, but in the end, you say yes to that work because you don’t want to offend the person.
Some people may abuse this, who will ignore your boundaries and do whatever they want.
To Be Concerned After A Dispute
Since you always want to be with people, any dispute, disagreement, or ideological difference may upset you. People-pleasing is often associated with fear. You don’t want to offend anyone because you fear you might be deprived of his kindness. Because of this, you will start wanting to apologize in some way so that your relationship gets back to normal.
In a nutshell, if you’re often undermining your own ideas, seeking everyone’s approval, over-apologizing, consistently agreeing even when inconvenienced, and feeling disturbed by conflicts, you might be a people pleaser. Recognizing these signs is the first crucial step towards adopting healthier, more balanced social interactions.
Overcoming People Pleasing: Steps to Self-Empowerment
Finally, let’s look at the journey of overcoming excessive people-pleasing.
Self-Awareness: The first step is acknowledging and accepting your tendency to please people. It’s important to understand that seeking approval and avoiding conflict are natural human inclinations, but they shouldn’t come at the cost of one’s own needs and self-worth.
Asserting Boundaries: Learning to assertively communicate your needs and say “no” when necessary is crucial. This might seem uncomfortable at first, but it’s an integral part of maintaining healthy relationships and building self-confidence.
Self-worth: Cultivating a strong sense of self-worth that comes from within and is not reliant on external validation is a transformative shift to aim for.
Remember, it’s entirely possible to care for the needs of others and maintain harmonious relationships while also taking care of and acknowledging your own needs. The key lies in recognizing your patterns, gradually shifting your beliefs about self-worth, and practicing assertiveness in your interactions. And remember, a world where you embrace your authentic self while respecting others is a world where everyone wins!
While this may seem like a harmless habit, it can quickly become a problem. If you constantly seek validation from others, you will never truly feel confident in your abilities. As we grow older and more mature, we need to focus on what we want, not on other people’s opinions. You can read more about this topic by following our blog or visiting our website today.